Hospital Part 1: How i Ended Up There

So I ended up in hospital again. Here is how the story goes.

                On Friday the 9^th of March I had a CPA. It left me feeling all emotional and horrible. I decided I was going to take an overdose so I went and bought 100 paracetamol. I came home and waited a while before I started taking the paracetamol. I was sick after swallowing 10 due to the fact I have taken paracetamol overdoses in the past and my body can’t hack them. But I persevered. I took a further 30 paracetamol before I was sick again. It was a horrible experience as I kept retching but I was determined. I was really quite distressed at the time. I didn’t want to die I just wanted to make myself really ill like I have been in the past when I have taken paracetamol. After being sick for the 2^nd time I gave in as it just wasn’t working. I turned to cutting myself instead. Then my housing manager was at my door and she saw my self-harm. She came in my flat and I told her I had attempted an overdose. She phoned for an ambulance. I hid my razorblade in my pocket as I hadn’t finished yet. Next thing I know 2 police officers turn up at my flat.

                They came in my flat and I refused to go to hospital. I then slashed at my arm again. The police officers jumped on me and removed the razorblade and placed me in handcuffs. They arrested me for breach of the peace. They called for back up and about 5 minutes later a further 3 police officers turned up. I was still refusing to go to hospital so they decided they would call for a police van. The police van turned up and I was escorted outside. My neighbours were watching as I was dragged out in handcuffs.  I was placed in the back of the police van but I started banging my head on the cage so they jumped inside and restrained me. They decided they would stay in the back of the van with me. They blue lighted me to A&E. That was an experience. We were flying all over the place. Later in hospital one of the officers said it was one of the worst experiences he had had.

                When we got to A&E I tried to throw myself out of the van but they caught me. I refused to go inside so they dragged me in kicking and screaming. There were 6 police officers with me but they soon cut it down to 3. 2 males for restraint and 1 female because apparently they had to have a female. We waited a while before we were seen. I calmed down a little so they put my handcuffs to the front and they took me out for a cigarette. During which one police officer said I was the most normal mad person he had come across. When I needed the toilet I had to have the female officer come in with me and she had to pull down and then up my trousers due to the fact I was in handcuffs. Very degrading indeed. We waited ages to be seen and in the meantime I kept getting distressed again and ended up with the handcuffs to the back. They moved them to the front again when the nurse came to sterri-strip my arm.  Then the doctor came to do my bloods. When she had finished she left the needle in my arm while she went to get a plaster. Due to the fact they had doubled up my handcuffs I had a bit of movement available so I grabbed the needle out of my arm. The officers jumped on me and did some kind of pushing me in the face to get me to drop it. Once again my handcuffs were placed behind me where they stayed until I was taken to the police station. They said I was too much of a risk. My bloods came back OK due to the fact I had thrown all the paracetamol up so I was taken to the police station as a place of safety. We were at A&E 5 hours and all together I spent about 6 hours in handcuffs. My wrists were sore for days after and I had bruising.

                When we arrived at the police station I had to remove most of the stuff I had on including my piercings. A photograph was taken of me and I was lead to a cell. The cell door was left open and 2 police officers and the female detention officers sat outside. It was horrible being in a police cell, I’ve never been in one before. All that was in there was some thin mats and a toilet. I got distressed and started banging my head against the wall. I was handcuffed again and placed in leg restraints for about 30 minutes until I calmed down. The custody nurse came to see me and asked a few questions. Then about 2 hours later a mental health nurse from the single point of access team came to assess me. He basically said that I needed hospital and if I didn’t agree to go in informally he would request a mental health act assessment. I always said I wouldn’t go into hospital again but after some distress and thinking I agreed to an informal admission due to the fact the mental health act assessment wouldn’t take place until the morning and I didn’t want to stay in the police cells all night. I was really annoyed though.

The only bed available was at the big hospital in a far away town which annoyed me further. After a short wait I was taken in a police van to the hospital. It took about 40 minutes. I arrived at the hospital at around 5.30am after no sleep all night. So that is how I ended up in hospital. It was a hellish experience and writing it has made me quite anxious. A post will follow about what happened in hospital as it is too much to write this and then that in one go.

Brokenmind

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